Cold, Cold, Cold

1. Its COLD outside

2. I have a COLD

3. COLD pretty much just sums up my life right now.

I'm in the laaaaaast stretches of my second-to-last semester and it is killing me! I guess doing one 10 page paper a week can burn you out. Shoot. The worst part is taking a break right before the end! I know, most people think I'm being terribly blasphemous right now, but listen, you. You get on a fantastic role, writing, writing, reading, reading, writing and then BAM! just like that you're taking a break, eating lots of food, shopping for stuff, etc. etc. etc. and who has time to think about writing?! So now it is Tuesday, I promised I'd get four pages of my last paper done by now and what do I have? ONE. ONE stinkin' page that I think I might just delete in sheer frustration. Updates next week when this has all blown over :)

Funny For The Day...

Wait, wait, wait...what?

Am I the only one who thinks its c-r-a-z-y to hold the global warming summit in December? In Copenhagen? I don't know about you, but by the time December rolls around, I'm kinda hoping that global warming kicks in...like, I start burning aerosol cans, tires, what have you...ok, not really, but I imagine myself doing it. I say, let us hold the summit in July when we're all like, 'holy crap, global warming sucks!'

Profound. I know.

I'm Sure I'm There...

My birthday is coming up soon (3 weeks!)....and I'm going to be 22. I'm going to estimate that this is birthday will indicate that one quarter of my life has gone by...more or less. As such, I'm thinking I'm going to have a quarter-life crisis...as per this 'map' ... I'm pretty excited about it because I think I'm going to take the 'travel the world' option as my next move :)

Take That iPhone

I think Apple should totally go for this...

New Car! Its Fantastico!

So Luke sold his Mustang....it was hard at first, but we got something so much better! With winter looming and a move to Wisconsin a real possibility...and my insecurity with driving in the snow...and....etc. We decided a small SUV would be a good decision. So Luke went car shopping on Monday and I was planning on going on Tuesday. Well, on our way home Luke and I decided to look at the ONE place that was open past 7pm...so we go and are greeted by a great guy named Travis. He's showing us all the cars, but none of them are really 'jiving' with me. I really wanted a Jeep Liberty or a Ford Escape with pretty low miles, etc, etc. Luke wanted a Toyota 4Runner, but no luck there either. So Travis actually wants to drive with us to Salt Lake the next day to check out the other dealers with us...I was like, sure and Luke was like, cool...and at about 9pm, we decided the car shopping would reconvene Tuesday.
So, we're leaving, right? And Travis is calling Luke right as we're about to pull out onto University. He's like, 'come back now!' so we do...and what do we see? A Ford Escape, 18,000 miles, LEATHER interior, roof rack, and all around awesome-ness......now I don't want to sound ridiculous, but it was love at first sight....so Luke negotiates, and negotiates....I was the worst, because I was so excited, every offer that came in I was like, yeah! let's buy it now! Luke calmed me down and haggled his the price down $3,000! He's awesome :) Oh, and then Travis took us to dinner. Bonus!
The next day, we give them a cashier's check and now we are the proud new owner of Arnold (as I have christened him): He is beautiful :)

Seeing the World Through Rose Colored Glasses...

It may sound weird, but I'm thinking of taking a new approach to school this semester. I only have two semesters left...and most people would be freaking out with senior level courses and the end so near in sight. So here is mah plan. I'm going to approach this semester with the niavete of a freshman.

Think about it...think about when you were a freshman. You just wanted to have fun. You had just moved out of your parents' house. Classes were important but they weren't EVERYTHING. You approached everything like you did when you were in high school... like it wasn't no big thang. Now, I know that I could be wrong. I'm sure that there were lots of people who went through high school taking AP classes, stressed about college admissions, etc...but for all intents and purposes, we shall exclude those people from this discussion. I'm sorry.

I feel pretty confident about this new plan. I think I've been doing it for the past three years anyway. But I started freaking out about being a senior and thought that action needed to be taken! Especially since some of my classes are pretty, freaking intimidating (TWO Shakespeare classes, anyone?!). I know, Shakespeare was a great guy, but I just never really got into him. I never thought to myself, I'm going to read Shakespeare, for fun. And apparently, my Shakespeare and Film teacher is this hardest teacher in the English Department (Seigfreid....it just sounds intimidating). But guess what? I'm just going to write all my papers, take my tests, not stress, and as my mother says, just see what comes out in the wash.

And now I feel better :)

10 Weird Things I Find Myself Doing While Luke Is Gone...

So, Luke is gone for 2 weeks. He's currently being a bachelor in Wisconsin....and working....he might be working. So far, that is inconclusive. And now, I have found myself a bachelorette in a very lonely apartment. Because of this, I have found myself doing some odd things to either A. pass the time, B. Make it seem like Luke is there C. Entertain my overactive imagination. And here is a list....because life is not complete without lists. Going from most normal to weirdest

10. Microwaving EVERYTHING! Now that I don't have to impress anyone with my culinary skills, I have stocked my fridge with weeks worth of single portion, microwavable delights.......because cooking an elaborate meal for yourself is depressing.

9. NOT cleaning. For me this is w-e-i-r-d. I always clean. Always. It is almost a pastime. Almost. But let me tell you, right now, that apartment is a hot mess. And guess what? I don't plan on cleaning it until the day before I leave to meet Luke in Wisconsin. Take that authority! I'm so bad :)

8. Going to work....EARLY. Conrad keeps asking me why I'm so early recently....because I have NOTHING else to do.

7. Going to bed....EARLY. 10 o'clock rolls round....nothin' on TV....nothin to do.....Well, may as well hit the hay.

6. Watching WAY too many episodes of The Golden Girls. As I'm going to bed earlier than usual I find it hard to fall asleep right away. So I've gotten used to lulling myself to sleep with the witty antics of Blanche, Rose, Sophia, and The Tall One (aka Dorothy). Oh, Rose! When will you ever learn to stop talking about St. Olaf! It drives everyone crazy!

5. Doing way too much homework. Doing an online class is fun. I can take my sweet time. But now I've only got one lesson left and I don't know what I'm going to do with myself! I shall have to try and find some more early British literature to fill my time with...especially before bed. That stuff is sleep inducing. (P.S. I know I've offended some English majors out there and I'm sorry. It's just not my bag. Give me some Vonnegut and I'll be happy as a fat kid in a pool of pudding)

4. Getting the mail! I know this sounds normal, but trust me, its not. Our mail box is like a five minute walk away. Usually it is a once-a-week affair and outing. But once again....not a lot goin' on over here. May as well get the mail. Maybe I'll run into one of our white-trashy neighbors and try to initiate an awkward conversation?

3. Scrapbooking! Actually, that one was a joke. Under no circumstances. No matter how dire, would I ever start scrapbooking.

2. Not hanging out with long lost friends. I SWORE to myself I was going to reconnect with friends I have sorely neglected since I got married. But guess what? Luke or no Luke, I still have no time for anything.

1. Sleeping with the TV on. For some people, this might not be too weird. But WHY I'm sleeping with the TV on is weird. Luke stays up later than me most nights, so in order to entertain himself he plays video games on his computer in bed...sexy, I know. This has been going on for the better part of the past year, so I have become way too accustomed to it. Now that Luke is gone, if I leave the TV on mute and just let the screen glow it puts me to sleep like a baby because it is similar to the computer screen. I find it to be kind of pathetic, but do what you gotta do! I just wonder how much electricity I'm wasting when I leave the TV on for the better part of the night/morning?

One more week though!

Steak Out: A Review

Before today I had never eaten any food from Steak Out, a restaurant located in the Riverwoods shopping center in Provo. After today, I have NO desire to ever eat there again. Now, I am no food critic, but seriously? Gross. We were having a 'Last Day At Work' party for Amanda and Alex (our boss) decided to treat us all to lunch! Lets see, who delivers? Steak Out's main claim is that it delivers food! Perfect. So we order and an hour and a half later it arrives. Good delivery, boys!

I ordered the Cheesesteak Sandwich. It was so soggy to the point where it was actually kind of gross. The steak was good. Granted. The best part of this ordeal was that Amanda, the girl who's celebration we were celebrating in a celebratory manner, ordered the 'Chopped Steak'. Which sounds fancy, right? It was a hamburger patty. I kid you not. A hamburger patty. And a gross, lukewarm one at that. Ew. Here is the kicker, They DON'T MAKE FRENCH FRIES! What kind of steak place doesn't have fries? So we ordered chips thinking, at least they'll be home made or something? Nope. Lay's snack size potato chips.

I don't know why I am so upset about this victual let down. Perhaps it is because I feel bad when someone pays $70+ for everyone's lunch and ALL of think it is gross. Maybe it is because they charge a ridiculous amount for inedible food. Or possibly because ew, that's gross. Come on.

I'm Feeling Adventurous...

Maybe it's my annual (or bi-, tri- quad-annual for that matter) surge of needing adventure, but shoot, I've been dyin' recently. Let's see, in the past 3 weeks I've: wanted to get a new tattoo, pierce my belly button (that one will probably happen :)), dye my hair black (again), move, take a vacation to Budapest, get a dog, quit my job, and pretty much everything I shouldn't do. So, here is my new motto. ALL THINGS IN MODERATION! If Ihold back these feelings of adventurousness....then it's all going to explode in one big mess....BUT if I let it out a little bit at a time throughout the year...I'll be good to go. Then, poor Luke won't have to deal with a new, sketchy-sounding idea every day. I'll probably stop trying to convince him to get a matching tattoo with me and we can all live in peace. :)

But really, I think it is just that the majority of summer has passed and I have spent 90% of it in an office under flourescent lights. And it is making me restless. I feel like I haven't experienced life recently because the office has been my life. It is kinda depressing. I think it might make anyone go a little stir-crazy.

To make matters worse? Luke is leaving for two weeks, and I'll have no one (who understands, that is) to stop me from going through with all of my crazy ideas! Yes, Nick will be here, but really, I think that he might just encourage me :)

But don't worry loyal fans. It is work that is causing this mess, but it is also work that keeps me out of trouble. I'm usually too tired at 7pm to follow through with anything...sad, I know :)

Now...back to planning my trip to Budapest.

Step One:

Don't Let Anyone Tell You Otherwise...

Sometimes, when I say, 'I didn't do ANYTHING at work today...' people will respond with a comment much like unto this, 'You're so lucky! you get paid to do nothing!' Let me tell you something people. I'd much rather NOT get paid and be doing SOMETHING, ANYTHING productive then sit in front of a damn computer screen all day, refreshing my facebook screen every five minutes! This is killing me!

Let me lay the record straight for you...I work at a somewhat-failing company. I manage their sales/call center. Which means I make sure the phones get answered and that every franchisee that we have in the U.S. and Canada is happy. Sounds fun? Well, the phones ring. They get answered. Happiness is generally had by most offices. What do I have to do then? Not a lot, my friends. Not a lot. I do one major spreadsheet for gross sales for each office once a month and then..........nuthin.

Sigh. The worst part is that there are fabulous, huge windows on one side of the office. Winows that I stare out longingly when the weather is nice, and windows that I have to leave my grey cubicle to even see.

Don't get me wrong. I love my job. It pays me a steady income, I work with some fun people, I get discounts if I ever want anything painted. Fun times. But everyone leaves at 3! I stay for FOUR hours by myself. It is truly depressing.

Rant. Rant. Rant. Thank goodness for Pandora, because I might just go crazy. Also, thank you for My Modern Metropolis. That website is fascinating.

What is even worse? I get so bored that even my online class isn't even tempting. It's like, 'Stare at blank nothing? Or stare at Elizabethean literature?' Honestly, most days it is a toss up. Elizabethean literature is great, really it is, but I have reached that certain doldrum in my life where nothing is exciting. And I blame that on the stupid computer screen that sucks my life out for 7 hours a day. You may notice that this note is being written at 630pm. Thank God. Only half of an hour left!

I saw this picture

And it made me think of Luke :) <3

Is BYU on C-R-A-C-K?!

So today, the Associated Press reported that the inevitable has finally happened. BYU, the infamous mormon university, most notable for its acheivements in polygamy and douche-baggery (this quote might not be verbatem, btw) has finally lifted its ban on YouTube! I know, brace your self, innocent little BYU-ers. The day has come where the world is finally opened up for your exploration. You can now watch clips of dogs running into walls and a cat playing a piano...riveting, I know.

All sarcasm aside (well, most of it anyway) some people are in an uproar about this because of the portals of doom that it is now open to students whose original purpose for attending BYU was, supposedly, to avoid them. Some people are thinkin' that this change might just be BYU's first step down a slippery slope of apostasy. Nay, I say unto you all, nay.

It makes me upset when parents get in an uproar over a university allowing its students to chose simple things for themselves. They need to teach their children instead of expecting institutions to regulate their lives instead.

Sigh, I don't like opinionated posts, but there you go.

P.S. Further evidence of BYU being on crack...Stadium of Fire? Jonas Brothers? Really? Get someone good next year, BYU. Like The Bravery, or Death Cab for Cutie, or David Bowie, or Franz Ferdinand, or your mother. See, look at all the options.

Things I've Learned After Being Married For ONE Year...

ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY TIME! Besides getting a new wedding band and getting Luke a new bike AND the complete Red Dwarf Series, I also recieved a wealth of knowledge, not only concerning the opposite gender but myself as well...

1. Men CANNOT read minds. As much as I may will Luke to do something with my telepathy, its true he cannot read my mind and my mind cannot force him to do something. It is quite a novel idea actually...ask someone to do something or explain what you want and they get it. Yay!

2. Cooking should NEVER be an ordeal. So what, he put waaay too many different spices in the pot...so what if I don't usually cook with lemonade....it's not a big deal. Luke and I got into WAY too many fights about cooking. And I feel the silliest because I was the one who always started them :)

3. It is now OUR money. Just because I get a paycheck with my name on it does not mean I can go spend it on stuff for ME. This is probably the hardest thing to get used to. Call me spoiled...go ahead, do it. Now that I'm all growed up, I need to put MY money towards a downpayment on a house and etc. But that's ok, because Luke reminds me of this every time I want to buy something frivolous and it is keeping me disciplined :)

4. Yeah, it sucks that we both have really long and conflicting schedules. Most days of the week I don't see Luke until I get home from work and 7:15, then we go to the gym, get back at 9 and I have an hour and a half to spend with him before I go to bed. So guess what I have learned from this? I make sure to appreciate the little time I DO get to talk to him. If that means I talk with him while I am on the treadmill, then so be it :)

5. Time for a cliche...Don't sweat the small stuff. Keep it simple. If something doesn't go right, and one of us screws up plans, its no---big---deal.

6. Men can change. Don't let the stupid media say it ain't so. You can make them cleaner, more fashionable and healthier eaters...you just gotta try :)

7. Women cannot change...it is not possible. I will always be a neat freak, fashionista with a terrible tendancy to swear...a lot. I'm sorry Luke...I'm sorry.

8. It's ok to brag about how awesome your significant other is...I think it is sad when people don't.

9. Why do people always think it is so WEIRD or FUNNY that Luke is so much taller than me? This isn't wisdom, more a plea for wisdom in finding a solution to this puzzling conundrum.

10. Marriage WON'T work with love. It sounds SO corny, but it is so TRUE. If I didn't love Luke, I wouldn't be able to laugh so hard at all his corny jokes, I wouldn't be able to laugh of the mishaps we encounter. We wouldn't have anything...it just does. not. work.

11. Ummm. To anyone who thinks that there won't be ups and downs: you are w-r-o-n-g. We've had some pretty serious downs, but a lot of wonderful ups, as well. We've had some terrible trials that I didn't even know if I could get through, but we both got through it and life countered itself by giving us more ups and happiness. I may get moody and have a down day when Luke is having an up day, but it all evens out in the end.

12. Fights happen. Get over it :)

13. DON'T. I repeat DON'T rub it in when you're right. My mother gave me this little jewel, everytime I won some sort of argument with Luke: Did you tell him? Yes! Ok, now drop it. It's the best way to gloat without hurting feelings :)

14. Personal Revelation: It's more difficult than I originally imagined to be married and have the same friends as before. Married people, just want to hang out with each other and single people think it's awkward. I don't know why this phenomena occurs, but it does. And sometimes...it kind of sucks.

15. Finally, being married is like a kick in the pants into the real world. Suddenly, you really, really have to plan for the future, like when you want to buy a house, where, etc. You now have jobs, budgets and a more substantial rent to pay. Not to mention tuition for TWO people and groceries for TWO people. But its awesome, so its ok.

All in all...I love it :)

It's a terrible day at Five Star Painting!

Oh Saturdays at work...you are so boring. But this Saturday...this very Saturday, you chose to be not just boring but cruel! Here I am, minding my own business, when a pang of hunger strikes me. "I'll go to the fridge at get my granola bar" I think (Don't ask why I refridgerate my granola bar...I just do). I reach in to get said granola bar and a foul odor reaches my nose. This smell isn't foreign to me though, it has been lingering in the fridge for a week or so now. But I don't think much of it...there is hardly anything in the fridge, so what could it be? I close the door and my conscience hits me hard on the head and tells me to go figure out what that rank odor is. Sigh, ok...I kneel down, look to the back, back BACK of the fridge and what do I see? An innocent bottle of milk. Did I say innocent? I meant ominous. This can't be good. I daringly reach in and grab it...uh oh, it's leaking a little bit....hold it up to my nose like an idiot. And then it hits me. Oh how it hits me. This milk smells like all hell has been residing in this bottle for a month and everyone in it has been partying and throwing up. Fun for them. Not for me.

This is where is gets fun...I don't normally have a gag reflex, but then, I gagged. Oh how I gagged. It was painful, painful gagging. I run to the trash can to throw this piece of devilry away and while doing so, I glance at the expiration date....MARCH. I kid you not. 3 MONTHS ago. That's gross. There's another bottle of milk in the fridge, too. It expried in April. Also gross, but the lid was on tight so it didn't kill me. Why couldn't it have just turned to yogurt like other bad milk does?! It would have been delicious instead of gag-inducing!

After this terrible incident, I am going to propose a plan...a plan to end all sour milk incidents in the future. Whosever milk that is...they have to drink it. All of it.

Interviews: I Shall Close My Eyes and Pick One!

It's that time of year again! Interview time! With Gabi leaving to med school, it was today that I interviewed for the coveted 6am shift...and if you think that by coveted I meant crappy...then yes, you are correct. Not surprisingly, I have done interviews for this same shift 3 times already...it must be cursed...or really exhausting. And interviews did we have! I sifted through 50 resumes and called 15 people and did 13 interviews...quite the feat...but as the director of human resources for the past 6 months, you gotta do what you gotta do...Anyways! A list for you...a list for ALL of you! of all the crazy crap that happens on interview days...

1. The Neways building is the big building that is just down the road from us...TWO people went in there thinking that's where our office was...ummm, it says Five Star Painting on a big sign just down the road. The poor people at Neways must think I am a crazy person who can't give good directions...wait, that's true, scratch that....Strike One: for not following directions.

2.One lady came in who spoke minimal english and optimal spanish. I had to have Eunice come in for the interview and do her spanish speakin' thing.

3. Cutest interviewee award goes to! Terry. He was this really old guy who has worked in some sort of call center his whole life. If Megan Winegar sees this...he looked exactly like Larry Harkelroad...and acted like him too...it was awesome...But kind of sad because he's older than everyone in this office and I don't want to hire someone who won't fit in :(

4. After doing this for a while, I now know that interviewees come in all shapes and sizes....BIG shapes and sizes, too.

5.One lady wants to commute from Heber City every day for a 6am shift...over an hour away. I wanted to ask if she was crazy-go-nuts but I decided against it...I mean $8 hr might pay for all that gas, right? No? Yeah, I didn't think so either.

6. One lady that I really, really liked came in and when I told her that the starting wage was $8 hr with a raise after 3months, she told me that she doesn't start under $10...which made me wonder how she got high paying jobs when she can't read. Because I put the wage at $8 on the ad. Hmmm...one of life's mysteries I guess.

7. I kept on having to apologize that our office smelled like popcorn. Note to self: Don't buy popcorn as an office snack...especially if everyone makes like 3 bags a day. Ew.

7.5 I'm eating popcorn right now :)

8. I called one girl to schedule an interview and I accidentally asked if I could schedule an estimate. lol whoops.

9. By the end of 3 hours of interviews I get a little bored....I told Conrad this and he told me I should ask them in all seriousness what kind of butterfly they would be if they had the chance. It made me laugh.

10. All in all, I just hired a cute, bubbly girl called Mikelle. She's super nice and hopefully not a drug addict. My fingers are crossed on this one.

Now, I don't ever want to see another resume, ever again in my life...ever.

Tuesday Haiku

Random Monday.

Can't we all just get along? Like these two. Who ever heard of a Chipmunk and a Wookie making peace? No one! Thats who! That would be like an elf and a dwarf being friends...yes, I know it happened in Lord of the rings, but Peter Jackson just had them do it for the movie. They totally hated eachother off set...wait, that wasn't real? Never mind.

Note To All Classroom Over-Talkers:

We don't care... I know it may seem crazy at first that we don't care about absolutely anything you have to say....especially when you have something to say pretty much alllllll the time. Yes, the teacher may seem interested, but guess what...she's faking it. Yup, she doesn't care and you know what, she is probably the most aware that every example you give doesn't have a THING to do with what we're talking about.

Yes, we all know that you like to hear yourself talk, but you know what? We don't. And maybe some of us want to share what we're thinking, not just listen to you run your mouth. And when you feel like you have to speak up at every single comment the teacher makes, not only does the teacher stop listening, and we stop listening... but you start sounding pretty stupid. For example (por ejemplo)....When we were talking about kairos, ethos, logos and pathos in 312, and you felt compelled to tell the story of the Native American at your construction site who didn't want to sign a contract because he was afraid the white man would take away his land.....I'm sorry....what was that all about?

But don't worry, you're not alone, classroom talker. There's one of you in every class. So go find eachother and start a club where everyone talks at once in a sound proof room, then the rest of us will lock you in and you can all talk forever and ever...and have little over-talking babies.

P.S. Thank you for staying out of all my 8am classes. I don't think I could handle such obnoxiousness so early in my day.

Love,

Brittany (The quiet one in the back, rolling her eyes every time your mouth opens)

Love...♥ ♥ ♥

WARNING: THIS IS A VERY SAPPY POST! TRUE ROMANTICS, READ ON...
I feel that Luke and I have something deep and beautiful. I don't know anyone who can love so deep as he does, nor do I feel that I have the ability to have love someone more deeply than I do him.I know this is mushy, but I feel its been much too long since I have publicly proclaimed my affection and gratefulness for Luke and all that he has done for me, and for the love I feel from my family and friends every single day.

Love is a privilege I feel so grateful to have. Love gives me the confidence to go out and do anything I want no matter how scared I might be. Love is my light in dark places, dark times and dark moods. Love makes me feel warm, it makes me feel truly special and it shows me that life is worth living.
I have been fortunate enough have felt a deep and sincere love throughout most of my life. It has been a rare day that I have not felt that warm feeling that comes from the affection of someone else. After almost one year of marriage, there has not been one day since then that I have not felt the most overpowering feeling of love, coming from my husband. And for this, I am extremely thankful.


On a lighter note: I also love ponies, ice cream and watching romantic comedies ♥

Note To Self: Movies Are NOT Real...

I have always had some trouble separating movies from reality. It's not that I don't know that space aliens don't exist and people can't actually do (most) of those stunts in real life....I just get so enthusiastic about movies! I'm also very easily sucked into things....not vaccuums, mind you, story lines. This all started very long ago. As a young equestrian, I watched many a horse movie. Whilst watching the movie International Velvet, I thought to myself, 'I'm going to go the Olympics on a horse that I bought as a baby and somehow trained myself as a young child in England!'....I'm still waitin' on that dream.

Then came the summer of my sophmore year in high school. My brother and I went and saw Pirates of the Carribean, and I swear, for about three months, I wore think eyeliner and a pirate studded belt EVERYDAY, because, yes, I wanted to be a pirate.

(Another Note To Self: Stop telling people embarrassing stories about yourself....Duly noted)

Last night Luke and I went and saw the new Star Trek movie and it was AWESOME. Not being a trekkie myself, I LOVED it...Luke being a moderate to intermediate Trekkie also loved it, and therefore it was a good movie for the whole family (yes, we wore Spok ears)...and yet today I can't stop thinking about how freaking cool it would be to meet Spok. Now, I wouldn't shy at the chance of meeting Zachary Quinto...he's dreamy AND really great in the movie...but meeting Zach AS Spok would be so cool. But guess what guys? Spok doesn't exist. Leonard Nimoy does and he wrote a book call I am Spock, but that doesn't really make it true. He also made a terrible song about Hobbits, so what credence does that give him? Not alot. Especially since I believe he was wearing the ears in the music video about Hobbits....And now that I think about it, so were his go-go dancers... Point made.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XC73PHdQX04

But you know what? I'm ok with this movie-reality confusion. It shows that I'm totally into every movie I watch. That's fine. Don't judge...you guys know the rest. I don't know though, after watching X-Men-Wolverine Origins-I-Have-The-Most-Predictable-Cliche-Title-In-The-History-Of-All-Cinema, I'm still kind of waiting for my superhero powers to evolve.

Garbagumpshoe----We Hardly Knew Ye

Oh, sad, sad, sad times. My poor little fish, Garbagumpshoe (aka Wanda), has sadly passed on.

Last night Luke and I were up watching television and I walked in the kitchen to find poor Garba swimming on his back...he'd then flip back over and swim down vertically and then slowly float on his back again (he wasn't dead at this point, btw). Obviously concerned, Luke (who has grown quite fond of the fish) put Garba into his own bowl, so as not to disturb our other fish, Gretagumpshoe (aka Emilio Jr.) with his dying. We stayed up way too long, watching poor Garba suffer and we left him floating on his side, trying to breath, but hanging in there. Upon waking, I immediately woke Luke up to go check on him. I would have done it myself, but I think dead fish are pretty gross and kind of really creepy.

And guess what?! He was still alive! But just barely. He was lying at the bottom, just kinda breathing and hanging on. We flushed him out of his misery. And now Big ol' Gretagumpshoe is alone. I almost want to blame him for Garbagumpshoe's death. Greta's huge and ate all of his food.

I had him for OVER 2 years!... and good memories are now all that is left to remember him by.... remember the one time when he jumped out of the net one time when I was trying to clean his water and Mark had to come over and rescue BOTH of them after they flopped under the oven and were with out water for about 5 minutes because I was too scared to touch them? Whoops. Good times. Good times.

Garbagumpshoe. May you rest in peace. You crazy little fish, you.

17 Again? Try 17 Ways to be dumb....

Ok, so its a rainy, miserable day outside. But I'm at work so its ok. But with no schoolwork, what's a girl to do? Watch bootleg movies that's what! Today's agenda: 17 Again. Starring the ever-witty Mathew Perry, and MY personal guilty pleasure, Zac Efron (Don't judge...you don't know my life). And while a movie about becoming 17 again and returning to the highschool glory days will most definitely have it's gaping plot holes and discrepencies...this one had A...LOT of them. Per my new movie title, here is a grand master flash list of 17 odd plot holes that could have easily been fixed with some sort of directing/writing plaster:

1. Ms. Matheson, she HATES Frank or Fred, whatever his name is (I couldn't hear that well, it was bootleg, come on.) but then is like Okay, I guess I'll go on a date with you...whatever.

2. So, Zac Efron is TOTALLY trying to get his wife back, while he's a teenager. And NOBODY thinks its weird that their slow dancing and spending all this alone time together...but then he tries to kiss her WHILE shes holding his hand, and we're supposed to be surprised! Come on people, we're not that dumb.

3.Sterotypes. Ok, stereotype the usual teen drama movie. There's the jock thats a jerk, his innocent and well meaning girlfriend that he abuses, the dork that gets taped to the toilet, and the cool guy thats just trying to help everyone out. Check, check,check AND check.

4. So the mom FINALLY realizes at the end of the movie that the kid is her husband even though he looks exactly like him, says the same stuff he says and tells her about the time they first met. Is she thick or what?!

5. When Frank/Fred is asking out the principle and she goes, 'only if you don't take me in a gaudy limo' and he like waves off the Hummer limo, shes looking RIGHT at it. Duh

6. A swirling vortex...really? Actually, it was the most original thing in the movie so, kudos.

7. Ten more things to go? The movie was only an hour and a half!

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.17. Yay! Made it! Ok, so at the end he turns back into Mathew Perry and she takes him back and they LEAVE...while their son is finally the star of the basketball team! For the first time! That was THE most annoying part of the movie. Ugh.

Altogether though, I liked it. Zac Efron is my eye candy.

10 Questions...

There are 10 Questions I want to ask Ben Bailey from the 'Cash Cab'



1. Has anyone ever had a heart attack/stroke/ or epileptic seizure when you first turn on those crazy lights? I've seen some people get pretty rattled...




2. Do you ever pick someone up just for fun and NOT start the game show? I mean, how much would that suck if you got picked up in a cab by Ben Freaking Bailey and he's just drives you there!

3. Do you sometimes ask the really dumb people hard questions just to make them feel even dumber? I've seen this happen where some jock gets in and the first question is like, what's the square root of pie? I love to watch them squirm...I bet you do too, Ben Bailey. You sick person, you.



4. Where does all that cash come from? And how do you never get robbed? I mean, not getting robbed in NYC is probably a miracle in itself...but with LOADS of cash, it almost seems impossible.


5. Do you ever just let people get off with the right answer...if you REALLY like them, say with an old little lady or something? I'd do it... The sqaure root of pie is 4? Oh, Close enough you cute little thing you!


6. Why do you think people are almost always going to bars when you pick them up?



7. Reffering to question 4...lets move into the 21st century here...put that money on a card! Then you won't get robbed...I worry about you Ben Bailey.



8. Have you ever gotten pulled over and then tried to bribe the cop with all that cash...come oooonnnn.



9. Cabs aren't very popular anywhere BUT New York. Have you ever considered moving the show to L.A. or Minnesota? You could start the cab revolution!


10. Why are the video bonus questions so easy? It would be way more dramatic if the video questions had some obscure close up of something and have them identify it. People losing all their money makes me feel more justified in sitting at home doing nothing.

My Dad Met Benicio DelToro

End of story...jealousy is now reigning supreme. I'm going to go watch Sin City.

P.S. This is the first photographic evidence of many celebrity encounters my dad has claimed to have had.

P.P.S. My dad is the Jewish one on the right lol :)

The Perfect Major...

Everyone's big decision in life is what they major in college...I think they feel that the degree they receive will determine the type of job they will work at for the rest of their lives. English major? Get used to reading a lot of books, and you better start busting out that novel, stat. Theatre major? Have fun being a thespian for the rest of your life. While most of us know that this is not true (thank you Luke, the computer programming theatre major for being such an excellent example) there should be a perfect major out there...so irrelevant and ridiculous that no employer will hire you for being just that awesome...And that major is....

Quitting. Can you imagine having that on your resume. I think the interview conversation would go something like this.. So where did you go to school? Harvard. Oh wow, good school. What did you major in? Quitting. With an emphasis on small useless jobs like this...Wow...well...thanks for coming in.

Or something like that. See, in this major you would learn how to quit anything...effeciently and tactifully. New hobby? No problem. New job? That's your new specialty. Lunch date with less that desirable friends? You're out of there.

Maybe they would teach you how to quit with the best tactic I know, GUILT. Make anyone feel sympathetic for your quitting...I'm sorry I can't do this anymore...my dog just died...Aawwww, I'm sorry! Here's your bonus AND severance pay. Done.

Don't mock, people. I'll be surprised if some liberal arts school doesn't start this one up within the next 10 years. Mark my words. But this major has one problem...It's gotta be a short one, like a eek or so, because everyones going to quit school too....it's kind of their thing.

A Candy Conundrum...

After receiving a basket of easter candy AFTER eating easter dinner AND easter dessert I faced with a conundrum...Do I continue eating this candy AFTER easter even though I vowed not to? Or do I throw away a perfectly good easter basket filled with my favorite candy (see Previous Cadbury Creme Eggs Post). While for many people this conundrum may be non-existent because they can simply have their husband finish it off for them, as they rarely seem to feel guilt for such indulgences. Luke however, is allergic to chocolate, and any candy gifts of this nature always fall on me. Most of the time I don't mind, but I've been eating nonstop junk for a while, and I think I need to take a little better care of myself...

Back to the conundrum...I could always give the chocolate away, but then I would still have some left over and, therefore, I would still be tempted. I could eat one piece a day....but I know myself well enough to know I don't have the self-control OR restraint to do that :). So I am left with one option: Throw it out. Suck it up, tell yourself you don't want it anyways.

I was feeling bad about this particular situation UNTIL the said chocolate did me wrong. Oh how it did me wrong. I get up to do the horrific deed, solemnly putting all my (chocolate) eggs in one basket...all unaware they were on their way to their grave. I turn aroung and one had tried to escape, ended up UNDER my butt, melted...all...over...the...WHITE couch and my new jeans.

So I threw those suckers out. No remorse. How dare they try and sabatoge me. That little guy was brave, but he was stupid. And while the couch covers are washable, my pride is not! Let this be a lesson to all you rogue chocolate eggs out there....don't be a martyr for your friends will pay the ultimate price.

Thanks...

I think my husband has a super power. Don't laugh. They haven't shown it on Heroes yet, but they'll get to it in the next couple of episodes...they're running out of superpowers anyways. That show is ridiculous.

But I digress...

The superpower. Yes. I think Luke's super power goes beyond super human intelligence. I really actually think that he has the ability to transport his mind into another 4th, maybe even 5th dimension. I hope this 4th, 5th, maybe even 6th dimension, where men's minds travel to while on shopping trips with their significant others, well, I hope its a good place. I can almost imagine it now: there's computers, yes, lots of computers, with lots of RAM and hard drives and wires and USB stuff. It's a beautiful place. It makes me wonder why his brain ever comes back in the first place.

I too, may have a lesser version of this power. I know my brain is transported during class lectures. My teachers don't believe me but that's just because they're jealous. So are you. Don't deny it.

But back to the first point. Good for Luke. Way to find a superpower that allows you to live a normal AND happy life. None of this, 'I wish I could fly' crap. Really? You don't think anyone is going to notice? Or X-ray vision? What's up with that? Ooooh, I can see your bones and internal organs. Better watch it! Super human strength? I can get down with that....Intelligence...Watchmen's Ozymandius didn't do so bad with that one. Radioactive spider bite? Sorry, that's so last year.

Continue watching Heroes for more superpowers that are introduced but never get fully developed and are abandoned by the plot during times when this said superpower that was already introduced is completely ignored and could have ended the problem instantaniously. That show is ridiculous.

In any case, I love my husband and his super power. Hey, if it allows me to blah and blah and blah all day long in a mall without him frothing at the mouth with insanity afterwards, then I am OK with it. But I think he might just love me a lot :)

P.S. The best quote as Luke's mind left, probably the 4th dimension (which is probably a MMRP or combat related dimension), we are in the Asian Gift store where they sell 'samurai' swords,

"I bet none of these swords are combat ready".......♥

David Bowie....Oh How I Love Thee

David Bowie, you are my hero. I listen to you, probably every day. Your songs inspire me to be a drug abusing, rock star with a guitar. In dedication of you're inspiring awesomeness I am making a list of they lyrics that make me want to embrace my androgynous, sexually confused self....oh, and be in the movie Labyrinth. Read them, trust me, it's worth it! 1.So I turned myself to face me/ But I've never caught a glimpse/ Of how the others must see the faker/I'm much too fast to take that test/Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes/Don't have to be a richer man....This is just classic Bowie showing me what I gotta do with me and my awesome self :) 2.Listen to me - don't listen to me/Talk to me - don't talk to me/ Dance with me - don't dance with me, no/Beep-beep......Story of my life. 3. How come you only want tomorrow/With its promise of something hard to do/ A real life adventure worth more than pieces of gold/Blue skies above and sun on your arms strength in your stride/And hope in those squeaky clean eyes..... 4.Come get up my baby/ I'll stick with you baby for a thousand years/Nothing's gonna touch you in these golden years... Awww, I think of Luke...sometimes Bowie...don't judge :) 5. Hey man schooldays insane/ Hey man my work's down the drain/Hey man well she's total blam-blam...Story of my life again! What was I telling you? 6.This is Ground Control to Major Tom/ You've really made the grade/ And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear/ Now it's time to leave the capsule if you dare...Major Tom...look at what you could have been if you hadn't turned into a junky... 7. 'cause love's such an old fashioned word/ and love dares you to care for/ the people on the edge of the night/ and love dares you to change our way of caring about ourselves....When I was little I used to L-O-V-E Freddy Mercury, so when I first heard this song, I almost cried tears of joy. 8.Ashes to ashes, funk to funky/ We know Major Tom's a junkie/ Strung out in heaven's high/ Hitting an all-time low...we all know it Major Tom...stop trying to deny it :) 9. Though nothing, nothing will keep us together/ We can beat them, forever and ever/ Oh, we can be heroes just for one day. Hell yes we can...maybe we can make it two days if we get awesome super powers. And the best lyric of them alll!: 10. The spiders from Mars, he played it left hand/But made it too far/Became the special man, then we were Ziggy's band/ Ziggy really sang, screwed up eyes and screwed down hairdo/ Like some cat from Japan, he could lick 'em by smiling/ He could leave 'em to hang/Came on so loaded man, well hung and snow white tan/So where were the spiders while the fly tried to break our balls....makes me happy every time :)

No go watch Labrynith and try not too stare too intently at Bowie's junk as he creepily
sings love songs to a minor.

An Ode to Cadbury's Creme Eggs...

Oh creme eggs...why must you taunt me so. With all of your flavors. Original, Caramel and my personal favorite: Orange You seem so harmless. You're so small! And yet I bite into you and am overwhelmed by your sweetness. You actually make my teeth hurt, that's how sweet your gooey insides are. And yet you keep me coming back for more... You say your made by Cadbury's, but we all know they're using the cheap chocolate on you. Don't worry...I don't mind. I don't mind what your made of. Because ever since that fateful day where you and the Peeps were together On the same shelf...Well, I just can't shake it. I can't shake this sneaking suspicion that you are the product Of an unfertilized Peep Hen's egg... You get the Peeps who are a product of something wonderful... And you. You, Cadbury Creme Egg...You are just the gooey mess that never was. Tragic and yet oh so delicious.

No Looking Back...

No use. No fun. No worries.

Weekdays, I'm sorry...It's not you...It's Me....but mostly you.

I just don't understand why you have to be so LONG and so...Plentiful! I mean, c'mon weekdays. Don't you want to share just a little bit with the weekend. There's only TWO of them and FIVE of you! This doesn't seem very fair, does it?

No. I didn't think so.

Its not that I don't love you, I'm just not in love with you... I know, I know, I always get a lot of things done when you're around. I make more money, I learn lots in school, but really? 5 days in a row?...

Monday? Aren't you tired of always being underappreciated? Not to be too bold, but I've heard a lot of smack going around the office about you...they all hate you, and frankly, I'm not too fond of you myself. There. I said it. So why don't you do the right thing...jump on the band wagon and call yourself Sunday2 (minus Church)...I think everyone will really start warming up to you.

Tuesday, you're cool. There's not much you can do about your unfortunate, beginning-of-the week-syndrome. You're like the unfortunate looking one in a group. Pity is your best friend.

Wednesday, you know I respect you and your hump. But lets give Saturday a chance to shine in the middle of the week. I think Thursday and Friday will appreciate my new found energy.

Thursday, let's shorten it up a bit, huh? You always seem to drone on and on and on and on. Stop talking about your aunts five cats and get yourself over with, because Friday is right behind you and talking about the raging party that's about to get started...I'm excited about that...not the cats.

Friday, you're fine. People don't expect much of me when you're around. I'm allowed to be distracted, even lazy. You end the week with a nice dinner out on the town, and really...I appreciate it. You've always been so courteous to me, taking me on dates, to the movies. We stay up late and get our party on...so I guess what I'm trying to say is, even though you're a weekday...we cool. We cool.

So, I'm sorry weekdays. If I've offended you, please let me know. I sure we can work something out. But in the mean time, consider what I said. Until then, lets just be friends, k?

My Name is Brittany...And I am addicted to shoes.

Maybe it is because my dad sells shoes for a living and I was surrounded by them since the day I was born...maybe its because growing up, he always gave me free shoes (he still does)....or maybe its just because shoes are fabulous. But I am addicted to shoes. Reptile skin, metallics, suade, heels, wedges, flats, slingbacks...oh, the list goes on...

Don't get me wrong...not ALL shoes are fabulous. Please don't tell me to go to Forever Young or Payless and find a pair of shoes that are fabulous....because I can't....because they don't exist there. I am addicted to shoes with names because let's face it, those are pretty much the only ones that count. Names like Steve, Christian, Jimmy, or Manolo (Madden, Louboutin, Choo and Blahnik, respectively). Yes, I will fork out $150 for a pair of shoes, when the knock off's are right next door. Why? Because who wants to run around in knock off Madden's? Its quality that counts, and you get what you pay for.

Now, back to my addiction. Shoes are the spice of (my) life. I have a pair for every outift, and those outfits love them. Its like playing matchmaker with your clothes! Plus, Have you ever put on a pair of Aldo shoes and NOT felt fabulous? My MOM tried on a pair of Aldos with socks on and it looked good. lol :)

I feel good in fab shoes. I can conquer the world in fab shoes. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't climb the corporate ladder in the right pair of heels...and what better way to break the glass ceiling than with a pair of stilettos.

So don't judge me just because I feel that saving for a pair of $1500 Louboutins is more important than saving for a house...because a house doesn't come with a signature red sole, now does it?

I think one of the most important things to know is that when you're happy, those around you are happy... have you ever seen some one jumping for joy when your in the gutter? I didn't think so. So lets be fair to our significant others/co-workers/friends and family. Just because you're in a foul mood doesn't mean that you have to drag them down with you...Be happy, even if its just to brighten someone else's day. You never know who might need it...

Don't worry when things don't go exactly your way.....everything will go your way one day and then you'll really have something to brag about.

Don't worry when you feel so tired you don't think you'll ever get anything done.....you'll wake up eventually and you'll get more done than you ever thought you could.

Don't worry when you feel so overwhelmed you think it might be better to just do nothing at all....you'll get it done.

Can't make it work?....Make it work.

Don't want to do it?....Just do it, you'll feel better for it.

Want to be the bigger man?....sometimes being meek is the most effective way of being BIG.

Want to have your cake and eat it too?.....eat it, because damnit, your beautiful/handsome no matter what.

Smile because it feels better than frowning.

Be happy because no one is ever called a ray of dark clouds.

Take what you got and share the wealth...knowledge doesn't benefit anyone if it is kept a secret.

People, this is Xanadu, the pleasure dome...let's keep it that way :)

Alright, yo!

So, I like to watch MTV. I mean I really, really like to watch MTV. I watch everything from The Real World, to TRL, to Girls Girls Girls! With all of this watching of MTV, I have become inspired. I'm going to become the next big rap star! Sweet right? Yeah, it is.
Anyways, I'm thinking that I'll start by going to Rap Academy (I think its a show on MTV...if its not, it should be!) I'll learn how to get straight thug with the homies....then I'm gonna go Eminem style and totally go to rap-offs in the 'hood. Yeah, that's what I'll do.
And my husband totally supports me in all this...In fact, just the other day he started sporting a doo-rag, just like mine!
Man, this is going to be great. I think my street name should be something like B-Ice, or B-White, or Vanilla-B....There! That's the one...Vanilla-B....sweet.
The only problem is that Rap Academy is going to set me back about $2,000...donations will be warmly welcomed...

Welcome to our pleasure dome...

Kubla Kahn is a fantastic poem by Coleridge and is the inspiration for this blog. Xanadu is this magical pleasure dome that sits next to these dangerous cliffs and precipices. Don't know what I'm talking about? Go smoke some opium and get back to me. Anyways, I see our (Luke and I) life as some sort of fantastical pleasure dome. While the outside world crumbles around us, hey, at least we've got eachother in our own little world. Enough explaining the title, how are you?

In my final year of school at BYU I find myself having to read much more than I ever have before. There are many varied works and most, unfortunately, they hardly get more than a quick glance or a Wikipedia summary. Not like those girls who sit next to me who read and analyze the entire text. Come on, who has time for that? I've got a job here people...and while being the manager at a corporate office has it's perks (Finally gettin' some respect 'round here!) it also has its downfalls (ummm, just because something went wrong doesn't mean it's my fault, btw). See, pleasure dome (me and luke) craggy precipice (work and school).

So that's life for right now. I want to get a new office desk for luke, a new red bookcase and a new armoire 'cause I feel like it. I love the feeling of people complimenting me on our apartment because I feel that I put so much work (not to mention hard earned money!) into it that it totally deserves it (I can see my apartment quietly smiling to its figurative self every time). Plus, I really feel that living in a place that looks nice is what really makes it a home. I mean, people say all the time, 'It's not where you live it's who you're with'...or something like that. But hell, I know that there are loads of places Luke and I could live and be totally miserable...from a home standpoint at least. So, slowly but surely our apartment is turning into a beautiful, totally fab pad. Now, I kinda don't want to move. Weird.

Now I'll bid you (all 1 or 2 of you) adieu and continue waiting for Godot (a text I have been quite interested in as I unearthed it from the back of my mind as inspiration for a writing assignment. I think we all feel like we're waiting for Godot sometimes...or has he already come and we missed him?).

Who would win in a fight? A lion vs. a shark...or me? :)